Podcast #193: F*ck Feelings
It’s become an article of faith in our modern world that if you’re feeling depressed, unmotivated, angry, or anxious, what you need to do is think really hard about why you’re feeling that way. The idea is that once you figure out the roots of your problems, they’ll magically disappear.
But what if thinking about your feelings all the time actually makes your problems worse?
Well, that’s the argument my guests today make in their book. It’s called F*ck Feelings, and yes, that “F” stands for what you think. Michael Bennett is a psychiatrist, Sarah Bennett is a comedy writer, and together this father and daughter teamed up to write, despite the controversial title, one of the most straightforward, practical, and hopeful books about managing your psychology and your emotional life that I’ve read.
Today on the podcast, Michael, Sarah, and I discuss why you shouldn’t think about your feelings so much, what to do about anger, what to do about anxiety, and how to approach self-improvement so that it’s actually productive and not masturbatory. And don’t worry — even though the book is called F*ck Feelings, we don’t swear in this podcast.
- Why a psychiatrist father and comedian daughter decided to write a book together
- Where the phrase “F*ck feelings” came from
- Why you should stop focusing on your feelings so much
- Why trying to get to the root of your emotional or psychological problems is often counterproductive
- Why you should focus on managing negative emotions instead of eliminating them
- The differences between wishes and goals and why we often confuse the two
- Why expressing your feelings to people can often make things worse
- How much of our personality can we actually change?
- Why good psychotherapy involves simply abiding by ancient philosophical principles
- How to become process-oriented instead of focused on whether you’re happy or not
- How the self-improvement industry makes people miserable
- How you bootstrap yourself to do the things that are good for you even when you don’t feel like it
- Why thinking that life should be fair just leads to anger
Resources/Studies/People Mentioned in Podcast
F*ck Feelings is a humorous yet practical guide to dealing with your emotional life. It’s a quick read, but covers a lot of topics. If you’re feeling stuck in life or are dealing with depression, anger issues, anxiety, or addiction, you’ll find something in this book that will help you.
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Source: Art of manliness